Why?
by glee-wicked-song
Summary: Kurt and Blaine start to get closer but then... this is the story of my life as of 6 months ago and i really would like to get it off my chest. it's an amazing and moving story and it hurts to write it. from Kurt's POV
1. Hope

**Hope you all like! This plot line is exactly (I copied every detail from my memories) what is happening to me right now (except that I'm a girl and I'm straight! And I don't go to the same school as the guy in question). EVEN THE TEXTS I COPIED! I changed a few things obviously but the rest was the same. So… I'm sorry for those who know me and will know how this story is carrying on. Anyway, for those who don't and don't know… enjoy! **

_Kurt was over the moon. Not only was Blaine starting to talk to him more and even - was that flirting? - with him, but there were quick, stolen hugs and even holding hands. _

_On bonfire night, Kurt was going out to a local fireworks show with Finn, Carol and his father so he was going to be so bored all evening. Suddenly, at about half past 6, his phone buzzed in the pocket of his new jeans, picking the phone out he saw that the text was from Blaine. Grinning madly to himself, he opened the text:_

_**- Boo**_

_Eloquent as ever, thought Kurt as he replied:_

_**- Damn you and your scariness! xD x**_

_****__He only had to wait 20 seconds for another text to come through:_

_**- Mwhahahahaha u love me**_

_What was he meant to reply to that! He decided to play it cool:_

_**- Yeaaah. Xx. Although I did jump out of my skin and get scared at! *glares* You ok?**_

_Kurt decided to add the kisses in just to see whether Blaine returned them:_

_**- Yh I'm ok sleepy blainey tho xx**_

_They carried on like this for nearly four hours, using up practically all of Kurt's credit (damn his dad and his tight pocket!)_

_Kurt was only convinced more of his love for Blaine when some of the reply texts were things like:_

_**- Nawwwwwww hugglessss xxxx**_

_And_

_**- Hehe love you toooooo**_

_Kurt only stopped texting Blaine when he was getting into bed saying:_

_**- I'll speak to you more tomorrow. Love you xx. Kurt x**_

_To which, Blaine replied:_

_**- Ok nite nite love you xx blainey x**_

_These long texting conversations became more and more common and the lingering touches turned into obvious hugs and one time, Blaine even fell asleep with Kurt lying across his stomach on the floor before a performance._

_Kurt knew they had something._


	2. Plans

**I know it's short but it's only a filler and the others will be longer, promise! **

_One time, in a small recital to about twenty other students, Blaine (who was not singing a solo that day) came to stand by Kurt and, hidden by the people on the row in front, they held hands throughout the whole song. Kurt knew that there was something between them. _

_When the recital finished, Kurt and Blaine were standing outside the Senior Commons, arms around each other (like they seemed to do a lot recently). Blaine pulled away slightly, but only so that he could rest his forehead on Kurt's, and said gently, "We should meet up sometime, I mean… outside of Warblers."_

_Kurt, confused, replied, "What would we do?"_

"_Well, the first half of the last Harry Potter film comes out next Friday…"_

_Kurt didn't really see what was the big fuss about Harry Potter but, he agreed. "Yeah, sure! So, I'll meet you outside the cinema in town at about…5? That gives me long enough to fix myself up after classes."_

"_Sounds amazing." Kurt could hear the joy in Blaine's voice._

_Just then, Wes came out of the Commons and walking past the couple, called out "Just get a room!"_

_Kurt and Blaine couldn't help giggling to themselves and Kurt could feel Blaine's breath hit his face, mixing with his own._

"_Actually, I'd better go." Kurt said solemnly, "I've got lots of work to catch up on."_

_They stood there for a second longer and, kissing Kurt on the forehead, Blaine let go. Kurt gathered himself together and walked off in the opposite direction to Blaine. His heart was alight and he couldn't wait for Friday. _


	3. Love

**Reviews are love! 3**

_Kurt was sitting on the train, just about to arrive for what promised to be the greatest evening of his life. Kurt's thoughts were a blur – "What if he doesn't like me in that way? Well, we wouldn't be here! What if he tries to kiss me? Obviously I would go with it! What if…"_

_Suddenly the train arrives and Kurt gets out onto the platform. He is surrounded by people in smart suits and standing there in his tight skinny jeans and long sparkly t-shirt, he felt a bit left out. Coupled with the fact he had only been to this station twice and it was huge, and he didn't know where he was, Kurt felt apprehensive. _

_Finally, after a few frantic phone calls and going in the wrong direction twice, Kurt managed to find Blaine and walked over to him. _

"_Hi." Kurt said nervously. "How's my Blainey?"_

"He's good." Blaine replied with a grin. "How's my Kurty?"

They often greeted each other this way, they didn't know why, it just felt good! "He's good too. So… What are we waiting for?" Kurt asked, looking at the bundle of papers in Blaine's hand.

"_Oh, I just promised a friend that I would give him these CV's he asked me to print. He shouldn't be long."_

"_Oh, right…" Kurt replied, mildly fazed. Wasn't this meant to be about them!_

_Blaine's friend eventually arrived 20 minutes later because of a late train so the two boys had to rush to the cinema. It didn't help that the annual German Market was in town so the streets were packed._

_Grabbing Kurt's hand, Blaine walked confidently ahead, pulling Kurt behind him. Overcome with joy, Kurt went along with it, grinning confidently._

_The two singers arrived at the cinema with 3 minutes to spare so hurriedly bought their tickets and rushed in._

_Picking a seat in the middle rows but far off to the right, The two started to settle in for the film._

_About half an hour in, Kurt decided that he would take a step and rested his head on Blaine's right shoulder. It was very awkward to see the screen from this angle but Kurt just stuck with it._

Blaine turned his head, grinned at Kurt, entwined their hands and put his arm around Kurt's shoulders. Kurt couldn't concentrate on the film with the mash-up of senses and eventually gave up on the plot line. He'd read the book before so he knew the vague story.

_Kurt could feel that Blaine was looking at him again so turning away from the screen he stared into the other boy's eyes. Blaine moved his head forward slowly and gently the two boy's lips met. Almost immediately the contact was gone and Blaine was looking back at the screen again. It had all seemed so perfect that Kurt was starting to believe that he had dreamed it. _

_But it had felt so different to what he was expecting; he couldn't have made it up! Kurt looked back at Blaine to find him, again, staring at him. Wanting to make sure he wasn't dreaming, Kurt leaned closer to Blaine and pressed their lips together for a second time._

_They repeated this about three times, kissing and then turning away, before the film finished. _

_Kurt knew that is was such a sad scene (Dobby's death) and tried to make himself cry but he just couldn't, he was too happy to cry!_

_All too soon, the film was over and the audience started to file out. Gathering their things together, Blaine and Kurt made their way out of the cinema and back to the station, still holding hands._

"_Thank you for a great night." Kurt said just before they parted._

"_That's ok. I'll see you soon." Blaine replied and the two walked away with only a hug to bid each other goodbye._


	4. Matt

**This is where it starts getting angsty so if you want a perfect love story, stop reading NOW! Once again, reviews make me happy :) and anyone who can give me advice on what to do with my life as it is like this then that would be greatly appreciated! 3**

_It had been two weeks after Kurt and Blaine had been to see Harry Potter and Blaine was starting to back off Kurt a bit. Kurt didn't know why Blaine seemed to be keeping away from him but he hoped that Blaine was just planning something for his birthday._

_Because Kurt's birthday was so near to Christmas, there were always concerts around that day and in this case, the Warblers were singing a matinee and an evening performance on the one day._

_It might be thought that anyone would hate this on their special day but to Kurt it was amazing! Not only was it doing something he loved but also with the person he loved. _

_Kurt knew it now, he loved Blaine, it was official. His best friends all knew about what happened at the cinema (even if they didn't want to know!) but he kept it a secret from his dad and Carol. _

_The day of Kurt's birthday came around but Kurt had a really bad cold, he had nearly lost his voice (God forbid) and very bad snowfall was threatening to stop Kurt getting to the concert hall. _

_But nothing could stop Kurt from getting to a concert! Especially on his birthday and if Blaine was going to be there!_

_Eventually, Kurt arrived and ran into the hall to avoid getting his hair messed up. He had bought everyone in the Warblers an iced donut because it was his birthday, and so, was carrying around a box of 20 or so (which made him look very greedy)._

_When he arrived at the rehearsal room he went into put down his things in the corner where Blaine was. _

"_Hi Blaine!" Kurt said cheerily through his only-almost-there voice._

"_Oh, hi Kurt." Blaine replied. "What's with all the donuts?"_

"Erm… it's my birthday!" Kurt said sarcastically, expecting Blaine to whip out a present any moment.

"_Oh really. Cool. Happy Birthday." _

_Kurt was devastated but he managed to keep a smiling face as Blaine walked away from him and out of the room._

_Kurt put down the last of his things, said hello to Wes and David, and hurriedly walked out of the room to find Blaine._

_He found him standing by the big glass main entrance doors to the Hall, staring out into the snow. "Hey, Blaine." Kurt said, latching himself onto Blaine's arm. "Brrr… it's so cold outside."_

Blaine gave a little nod towards Kurt and continued to stare out of the doors.

"_What are you waiting for?"_

"_There's a boy coming from school, he's going to come in and watch the matinee."_

"Oh wow. Nice." Kurt replied, anxious to meet this new boy but deep inside hoping it wasn't anyone who would get in the way of him and Blaine.

Suddenly, Blaine shrugged himself out of Kurt's grip and ran outside into the snowstorm.

"_Matt! MATT!" He called out, running towards a boy with long, black hair and a very boring fashion sense (by Kurt's standards) and scooping him up into a hug. "Oh Matt you made it! Come inside quickly, out of the snow."_

_Blaine took Matt's hand and dragged him inside where he stood in the entrance and gripped the boy in another hug, pulling away to kiss the long haired boy quickly on the cheek._

_Kurt stood there in horror. How could he do that in front of him! Maybe they were just good friends though. Although Blaine had never greeted Kurt in that way._

"_Oh Matt, this is Kurt." Blaine suddenly seemed to remember Kurt's presence and dragged the boy over by his hand._

"_Hi, Kurt." Matt said nervously, looking at him closely. He then turned his attention back to Blaine, "so… Are we going to get my ticket?" _

"_Oh yes! Of course!" Blaine said, grinning. "Come with me."_

_He, again, dragged Matt through the crowds of people huddling inside from the cold, and towards the ticket booth._

"_Hi!" He said, grinning cheerfully at the attendant. "Can I buy a ticket for the matinee today?"_

"Yeah, sure." The bored looking woman on the desk answered. "Where would you like to sit?"

"Well, close to the front. And near to the centre so he can see me well." Blaine once again replied, turning around and grinning at Matt.

'_See _me _well'! Hold on! Since when was this BLAINE's concert! _

_Once the attendant turned away to print off the tickets, Blaine bent his head towards Matt's and kissed him fully on the mouth. Kurt nearly died, but managed to stay on his feet with a smile on his face. Matt just grinned at Blaine like this was a regular occurrence and turned back to the woman at the desk who was giving him his ticket. _

"_That's $10 please." The woman said, clearly oblivious to what had just happened._

_Before Matt had the time to get his wallet out, Blaine had already handed over the money for the ticket and was thanking the woman on the desk. _

_Kurt just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Blaine had never bought anything for _him_! He had even had to pay for his own ticket for the cinema. This was the worst day of Kurt's life. Worse than that day with Karofsky, and even worse (he hated to say it) than the day his mother had died. Not only had he had his first proper kiss stolen from him, but Blaine also turns up on Kurt's birthday without anything present-wise and with a boyfriend! _

_Kurt was hoping for a meal out between the two concerts for his birthday and was ready to pay for anyone to come with him, but there was no-one to come. So he ended up walking to McDonalds and eating on his own. This wasn't helped when 'lover boys' came in, sat down opposite him and started to feed each other food. Kurt felt like he was going to be sick so excused himself and slowly walked back through the snow to the concert hall._

_Kurt managed to keep a smiling face for the rest of the day even though the love of his life had broken his heart and he just wanted to sit in a room and cry._

_At the end of the day, Burt and Carol came to pick him up and by this time Matt had left. Collecting his things from the practice room, Kurt turned to say goodbye to Blaine only to see that he had already left._

_Kurt walked towards his family, a big, fake grin on his face, and started to talk about how great his day had been (made up of course)._

"_No Blaine?" Burt asked, oblivious to Kurt's anguish._

"_Erm… no. He had to go and catch a train." Kurt improvised._

"_Oh… ok then." Burt turned away and walked out into the snow, hand in hand with Carol._

_Kurt couldn't help looking back into the building where his life had been broken and shattered into a million pieces._

_And no one knew._


	5. Open

**Sorry it took so long but… I would love to say I was revising but I wasn't! I just haven't got round to it and the pain of reliving this was too hard.  
I have adapted this chapter a bit to make it more interesting but it is still practically the same as what happened to me.  
Reviews and possible life help are much appreciated. 3 thanks :'(**

_During the next few weeks, Kurt tried to get beck into Blaine's good books, he didn't know why! When Blaine walked into the practice room, Kurt was always the first to go and say hello. Always the first to give Blaine a hug, but always the first to be left alone to go and talk to Wes and Dave._

Kurt was noticeably getting depressed and Mercedes was starting to get worried. It was nearly February and most of the New Directions who still kept in touch with Kurt had decided to find out what was the matter. Mercedes had arranged to meet Kurt at the Lima Bean and Ben (Mercedes' new boyfriend) and Rachel had also tagged along.

"_Hey." Mercedes had shouted, alerting the whole coffee shop to her arrival, and bounded over to the small figure, bent over a steaming paper cup. Kurt looked up and grinned at the three individuals, pushing their way through the tables to arrive by the fashionista. _

_Standing up, Kurt gripped Mercedes in a tight hug and whispered in her ear, "Ooh! Is this the new fella?"_

"Sure is." Mercedes replied. Kurt could tell she was grinning widely. "Let me go and I'll introduce you."

Reluctantly, Kurt retracted his arms from around Mercedes and the second he did so, Rachel jumped onto him, nearly pulling him over. "We've missed you Kurt!" She yelled, nearly strangling the countertenor. "It's been no fun without you and, frankly…" She bent forward to whisper in his ear, "No one's good enough to even try _to take me on!"_

Kurt couldn't help a giggle escaping as he leaned away from the diva, pulling himself free from her grip. Looking up, Kurt saw that Mercedes and Ben were hand in hand and felt a pang of sadness. Determined not to let that spoil his day out, he put on another fake smile and stuck his hand out. "You must be Ben. Mercedes has told me all about you."

Looking warily at Mercedes who nodded at him, Ben took his hand out of hers and flung his arms around Kurt. Although he would never admit it, Kurt let out a small squeal of surprise. 

_Ben pulled away a few seconds later and looked at Kurt. "I heard you helped Mercedes through stuff so… thanks." _

_Kurt could tell that Ben was nervous so, not trying to make him feel uncomfortable took a step backwards and replied, "It was what any best friend would do." Addressing the group he motioned for them to sit down and sat down beside them. "So, what have I missed?"_

They stayed in the coffee shop for 20 minutes, talking about life at McKinley before deciding to leave and start looking around the mall. Mercedes and Ben were, again holding hands and Kurt and Rachel were walking behind them due to crowds.

Rachel looked across at Kurt to see him staring at the lovers' hand with a tear in his eye but as soon as Kurt sensed her gaze he snapped his head up at her and grinned, the tear disappearing. Rachel knew it had been there though and, concerned for her former rival, reached forward and tapped on Mercedes' shoulder.

_Looking round and seeing the red around Kurt's eyes, Mercedes quickly pulled herself from Ben and grabbed Kurt's hand. "Sorry, hun." She said as an apology to Ben and pulled the unwilling boy into the nearest shop._

Without saying another word, Mercedes pulled Kurt into a hug and, leaning his head on her shoulder, he started quietly crying.

Rachel looked on and, feeling that they weren't needed, shoved herself and Ben out of the store. 

_After a few minutes Kurt started to pull away from Mercedes and went to turn away. "Oh no you don't!" Mercedes grabbed at Kurt's shoulder twisting him back around to face her. "You're gonna tell me what's going on! For weeks you've been acting strange. What's the matter?"_

"Blaine." Kurt replied sullenly.

Mercedes looked up at Kurt in shock. "I thought you were going out after what you told me happened at the cinema. Has he broken up with you?"

"No." Kurt replied truthfully.

"_Then what's happened?"_

Reluctantly, Kurt opened up to Mercedes and told her all about the last few months from his birthday till now.

After he had finished his story, teary eyed again, Mercedes simply looked Kurt up and down and said plainly. "You could do better than him anyway!"

"That's the problem!" Kurt snapped incredulously. "I obviously can't 'do better than him' if the first possible boyfriend in my life stole my first kiss and cheated on me before we were even going out!"

"Have you told anyone else about what he did?" Mercedes asked, trying to be calm.

"No. No one needs to know. They'll just be sorry for me and I don't need that right now. I need to get on with my life but… I…" Kurt replied, breaking down.

"What is it honey?" Mercedes again grabbed his shoulders, but in a friendly way.

"I… still love him!" Kurt grabbed his face in his hands and began to cry again, worse than before.

Mercedes, not knowing what to do, referred to her previous tactic of bringing the defenceless boy into another hug and holding him upright.

_Kurt didn't know what to do. He'd said it! It was out there. But there was nothing anyone could do about it._

_He tried his best to take comfort from his friend but nothing could make up for the whole in his chest, slowly devouring his soul. _


End file.
